whats better than one ninja? two ninjas. whats better than two ninjas? three ninjas. whats better than three ninjas? NOTHING

list of things noted while watching 3 ninjas tonight (its on youtube in full glory!)

- one of the basic traits of a master ninja is the ability to disappear in mid-conversation when the person you're speaking with turns his head or loses focus for just one fwiggin moment just one tiny fwiggin moment. they turn back and you are gone

- also, learn to use your environment, i.e. find funny stuff around you to bash your opponents with or about. examples: flower pots, a grand piano, a telephone.

- knives, blades, shurikens, nunchuks, etc. are all ok, but if you even pick up a gun you are so banned from being a ninja. gunkata doesnt count. that being said, evil ninjas carrying ak-47s looks cool as all hells

- this movie has managed to combine backwards caps, vinyl scratching sounds, and ninjas. if only it had dinosaurs


- colt (the moody middle brother) spray paints his mask white to hide in one scene. wtf kid? your grandfather painted that thing as part of your naming ceremony and you just turn it into a crappy mime mask? no wonder no one remembers you

- it seems as all traces of the asian genes have been lost in two generations. besides ninja skills, obv. maybe they wont ever hit puberty?

- i am now spending much time photoshopping something awesome that will be posted above re: backwards hat, vinyl, ninjas, etc. of course this doesn't make sense now because you've already seen it so i assume it came out awesome (also, i managed to get anime porn searching for 'cartoon mountain' on the 3rd page)

- jon turteltaub, the director of 3 ninjas, also directed cool runnings. game over.