Thursday, December 25, 2008


In what will certainly be noted as a completely useless expenditure of grant money, scientists in Australia recently proved . . . absolutely nothing.

Well, the did prove that bees on coke act just like people on coke. They dance more absurdly and they like to talk a lot. They also get really excited about doing their work, and insist that everyone else pay attention to them. Luckily, the scientists were watching.

One researcher remarked, "The poor little buggers had to drink cocaine for a week. Then we just stopped it dead and we gave them a learning test." We're pretty sure his implication was that the "little buggers" were "poor" because he gave them a test right after they had been partying. Major soil.

I originally found this item in the same newspaper section that ran stories about lenience for poverty-stricken drug dealers and new government sponsored detox programs. I'm still trying to figure out how getting bees high helps get people clean.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

What in the hell were the 50's even made out of?

....Scotch apparently, and lots of it.

I'm not quite sure that "The Best of Everything" (1959) entirely lives up to its title. Or perhaps it does in an unintentionally (?) cynical way. The pedestrian storyline, speckled with events such as marriages, miscarriages, affairs, and nervous breakdowns is just a glimpse into one woman's very very small world. The best of her everything is supposedly the best of every city girl's everything, and what is that even? Not much more than a 20$ a month salary increase, and a slap on the ass. Oh, and love too. Don't forget love. However even that department is riddled with realistic failures. The educated ambitious women are portrayed as cold hearted and lonely in the permanent positions of weekend mistresses to married men, while their more wide-eyed naive counterparts get bamboozled by no good playboys who use the word "love" like a handkerchief.

But one thing is for sure, have a sip of scotch for everytime they drink in this movie and you'll be completely hammered by the abortion scene (that we all totally saw coming).