Monday, October 13, 2008

Bring Your Short Game

Okay, so the coolness of Dubai is old news, but this photo is pretty wild: Andre Agassi and Roger Federer playing a match on top of the helipad of the Burj al Arab (the hotel that looks like a giant sail).

1 comment:

Joules said...

ok, so does the liar of the evil Dr. Claw have a force field surrounding the anti-grav circular tennis court hovering 1,000 ft above the bottomless harbor filled with starving sharks? Agassi and Federer were captured - Federer post winning his eleventieth open in a row as he walked out of the mens room, Agassi snatched right off the set while shooting a commercial (squirming under the covers with Steffi in a boudoir more sumptuous in deep, rich woods and gold accents than was known by Louis IVX) for Rolex.

Dr. Claw jetted each to his headquaters - suspended in the sky by his afore mentioned anti-grav device - and hidden from detection by Michael Chertoff using technology that bends light waves around the "liar" rendering it "invisible" (not really invisible - just undetectable) - jetted each to his headquaters in exact replicas of F-23 stealth fighters (also undetectable) that Dr. Claw copied from 1:25 scale Revell models.

When the tennis super-heros arrived at "The Crib" (hovering liar's-headquarters fanciful evil name), met Dr. Claw and his 88 former playmate ladies in the 88 acre foyer with the retractable hanging garden roof while MSTRKRFT ft Nore pounded "Bounce" live, Dr. Claw revealed his plan to have the 2 greatest tennis players in history play a match that would determine the fate of the world.

Actually, Dr. Claw had previously kidnapped Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe, but their game quickly had "fallen" into the strategy of l-o-n-g volleying typically adopted by old men who don't like to run and each had backpedaled right off the court 1,000ft down into the harbor filled with starving sharks. Incredibly to Dr. Claw, who has watched a recording of the 1980 Wimbledon final everyday for 28 years, no one noticed the two tennis "immortals" were gone.

So as Agassi and Federer begin their match, umpired by Dr. Claw's 1st Assistant - 6'4" tall, 40" busted BeeJay Good'n'Plenty - Federer wonders if he should serve (at 190kph) right to Agassi's groin, or what? At least the ball would stop after hitting Agassi in his (swinging) dick. Otherwise - the ball lands in Italy, or in Greece, depending on the spin.

so back to my original question: is there a forcefield surrounding the court? Or trained ospreys hovering high above the court who swoop down and retrieve winners rocketing off the pad? Or is there an endless supply of balls that appear from a mechanically operated tennisball-sized trapdoor that opens and delivers a ball at the foot of the tennis hero - are there 10s of thousands of balls floating in the harbor? Are those detectable by Michael Chertoff? Will the floating tennis balls obstruct the water inlet to the cooling towers used for the nuclear power supply that's enrgyzng MSTRKRFT'S hypnotizing beat? Will the nuke overheat and consume "The Crib" in an orange and black mushroom cloud, with the tennis court tilting to the side - its anti-grav failing, curving downward like a descending frisbee - Federer and Agassi dangling from the center netting, their grip failing - but wait! Scooped up in a replica V-22 tilt-rotor aircraft piloted by Steffi Graf (she copied the V-22 many years ago from her son's Matchbox toy and uses the aircraft for VS\TOL access to any of the tiny uninhabited islands surrounding Fiji for sexcapades with Andre), and flown back to Monaco - which is where folks like these hang out.