Monday, November 24, 2008

My head is full of facts

Since lists are all the rage right now, here's some things I've learned while watching one of my favorite TV shows during its 6th season, QI (Quite Interesting):


A vampire bat is most likely to bite your big toe




A park ranger called Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning 7 times in his life, then died by committing suicide with a shotgun




Corn flakes were originally used to discourage masturbation. John Harvey Kellogg was deeply against the practice.




The Paris sewers (which line up exactly with the streets above) are cleaned by massive balls, which are pushed by jets of water.




Fainting goats help protect flocks of sheep by allowing the rest of the flock to escape from predators like wolves, whilst it is eaten. (click the picture, its so worth it to see these goats in action)


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Things I Googled for while watching Sixteen Candles alone


1. What happens when guys take birth control pills
2. How come I don't know anyone that looks like Molly Ringwald is it an 80s thing or what
3. Isn't it bizarre that the Asian guy in Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle really likes Sixteen Candles despite the incredibly offensive and unfunny Asian character featured in it as comic relief
4. High school was never like Sixteen Candles
5. Sixteen Candles sucks
6. Number of single women in New York City
7. Big boobies

Chinese Democracy

For 15 years the best thing about Axl Rose's pet project was the name. The ambivalence created by titling a mysterious album Chinese Democracy was priceless. If someone asked, "What do you think of Chinese Democracy?" You could answer in a number of ways that would be equally applicable to the political system and the hard rock enigma. For example:

Asker: What do you think of Chinese Democracy?
Answerer: Oh, I don't think it will ever happen.

Asker: What do you think of Chinese Democracy?
Answerer: I think it would be a mistake.

Asker: What do you think of Chinese Democracy?
Answerer: I'm not sure if the people are ready for it.

Asker: What do you think of Chinese Democracy?
Answerer: In a country with a population of 1.3 billion people a democratic political system built on a Western model of checks and balances could create chaos and actually negatively impact social and economic growth.

That said, we all knew that Axl chose the name for aesthetics and irony more than for the sake of political convictions. After all, he's a rock star whose claim to fame is 1980s excess and obsessive tendencies. If the man has any strong feelings about foreign policy, they are probably more focused on trade arrangements with Colombia than on human rights violations and freedom of speech in China. In a past interview, Axl himself admitted, "It could also just be like an ironic statement. I don't know, I just like the sound of it."

Regardless of the motive behind the name, and the motive behind the album, it's finally here. I've been listening to the title track for the last couple days, and I just finished listening to the entire album. First of all, I have to say that this is an impressively coherent effort for something that has taken seventeen years and at least five guitarists to produce. You can't just listen to the single, you MUST listen to the album.

That said, there are a couple of standout tracks. The first track, "Chinese Democracy" is like an announcement: Rock is back, deal with it. The guitar stabs into an incomprehensible sea of babbling Chinese as if Axl is telling everyone to shut up and listen to what he has to say. I agree with other critics in saying that it's not exactly clear what the message of the lyrics is: it's something between a personal meta-narrative about the process of making the album and typical rock and roll drivel about love lost and found. He does make a few references to China, but it's unclear what the point is.

Clocking in at 6:41, "There Was a Time" is the first track that made me think, "Damn, now there's a rock song." There are a lot of people out there who are saying that without Slash it isn't a GNR album. I say they're wrong. This is as much Guns N Roses as "Sweet Child Of Mine" and "Welcome to the Jungle." And it's a hell of a lot better than any of the trash that Slash released with Velvet Revolver.

"Catcher in the Rye" is a track that's going to get a lot of attention. Most of the attention will come from the title and analysis of how Axl relates to Holden Caulfield. Personally, I have always found the superficial reading of Catcher in the Rye as a tale of adolescent angst to be the most convincing. Given the frustration that must have either come from or gone into the 17 year production of this album, I think the connection here is pretty obvious. It's a good song, but not the strongest on the record.

There are also a number of piano propelled tracks that conjur up allusions to "November Rain." If you listen to this album from start to finish and still think that the lack of Slash diminishes the GNR characteristics of this album, then you are either not listening or you are in denial. If nothing else, tell yourself that Axl set out to prove he could make a GNR album without the iconic guitarist in the top hat.

I prefer a different analysis though. I think that the album is stronger without Slash. While Slash is a great guitar player, he has a very distinctive style of amped up meandering blues-rock. I love to listen to it. As Regina Spektor says of "November Rain," "that solo's awfully long, but it's a great refrain." He played great sing-along solos, but you always had something of an idea of what they would sound like. On this album, Axl uses riffs and solos from at least five different guitarists recorded over the course of almost two decades. It's amazing that he put together such a tight album from such a mess, and one of the best things it has to offer is diversity in guitar playing.

On the whole, I am very impressed by Chinese Democracy. While I will admit up front that I was predisposed to think positively of it because I found the hype highly enjoyable, I will also say that I was originally in the "it's not GNR without Slash" camp. Color me converted. This album rocks, and definitely counts as Guns N Roses. In the spirit of the title, I say grab this album however you can - legally or otherwise. No matter what, definitely go out and listen to it.

Then send copies to your friends in China, where it's officially banned. Maybe they'll get the right idea (the right idea: Rock and Roll is fing sweet, and censorship is bullshit).

Friday, November 21, 2008

I'm an Adult!

... and I just ate ice cream for both breakfast* and lunch. Guess what I'm having for dinner!





*The breakfast ice cream was actually whiskey flavored, so I guess that makes me feel a little more grown up.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Good Idea!

Here's a customink mock-up of my new product line! Patent pending!!!
GUESS WHAT YOU'RE ALL GETTING FOR XMAS?!?!?!


taking a "sick day"

...and by that I mean a shaun the sheep day.


Congratulations, Europe!

(Most information is from this nytimes.com article, but I've incorporated some knowledge from my high school biotechnology class.)

Following several weeks of preparation at the universities of Barcelona, Spain, Bristol, England and Padua and Milan in Italy physicians have completed the first successful transplant of a human windpipe, using the patient's own stem cells to reduce greatly the chance of rejection.

Preparation included extracting a three inch segment of trachea from an organ donor, "stripping" the trachea of cells from its previous host, removing stem cells from the recipient's bone marrow, growing an ample amount of these stem cells, and incorporating the stem cells into the trachea segment. This graft was used to replace the recipient's damaged windpipe.

This transplant is special for two reasons. There is minimal risk of rejection because the recipient's stem cells replaced the donor's. And, the stem cells were not embryonic stem cells. Many of those opposed to stem cell research object specifically to the use of embryos in the stem cell incubation process.

I am so impressed. Victory!

things i have seen outside my office window

nothing. i work in a cubicle.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things I have seen outside my office window

1. Dawn and sunset
2. Actual blimp landing
3. White-out winter conditions
4. Orange feral cat
5. Treehouse
6. 11 turkeys at once (twice)

Monday, November 17, 2008

this is post 101


i frequently suffer from bouts of extreme depression - usually when i'm walking from one place to another, listening to my ipod, and feeling oh so alone. sometimes it's the song, or the weather, or every pretty girl i pass by. this time it was all three, as an 8-minute remix of "golden cage" by the whitest boy alive came on, a gust of wind buffetted my face, and a gorgeous blonde walked by with purple boots, a purple scarf, and a copy of surely you're joking, mr. feynman! under her arm. i will never get to kiss that girl!

what surprises me about dance songs is the way they can affect me. you mention house, techno or electro to someone, and their mind jumps to some coked out, ecstasy-laden club where everyone's drinking red bull vodkas and finding new ways to air hump to sound waves. yet i've been listening to dance music almost exclusively for the last year, and i still come across songs that make me feel a whole array of emotions. it's a way a song uses the beat to drive home a beautiful melody, or to slowly seep a fuzzy synth through your head. repetition kills you, repetition drugs you, repetition allows your heart to mindlessly soak up a feeling. for me, it's also because i've always been one to focus on the music part of a song, rather than the lyrics. honestly, i could care less for words. it's all french to me.

the whitest boy alive - golden cage (fred falke remix)

sebastien tellier - roche (breakbot remix)

on a happier note - i'm learning to cook fried rice! this is my second time, and hopefully it turns out better. i wish someone else was here to try it with me.

Accidental Mid-Occidental Festival

So Madison is in the midst of an accidental music festival. Two nights ago I saw Best Friends Forever (Minneapolis!), Best Fwends and Matt & Kim. Did any of you guys see Best Fwends open for Japanther at school about 2 years ago? They were really amusing then. This time around they were stellar. In the end, though, Best Friends Forever stole the show!

Last night I saw Disappears, Times New Viking and Deerhunter. Disappears were a tidal wave of distortion and intensity (everything else lost within), Times New Viking were great (but not much better than their album, which, like I said, is great).

But Deerhunter! Wow I have a new favorite band! Bradford Cox always annoyed the shit out of me. Maybe I was feeling tolerant last night, maybe he's not that bad. (Really, he's just a nice guy puttin' on a rock show!)

That band though rocked SO hard and writes SUCH good songs. Long, acutely-constructed, hard-rocking SONGS, MAN! I've been listening to a ton of Sonic Youth lately, and this show was right up that alley. So. Good. I cried...

And tonight I'm seeing No Age and Titus Andronicus.

Sunday, November 16, 2008