Thursday, August 28, 2008

the best worst place in the world

Wikipedia can't stop loving you. Today's ambrosia of fact: North Korea has repeatedly tried to tunnel into South Korea. They've been caught four times (!) since 1974. They are like Mexican drug runners except they compete at the Olympics and are motivated less by money than by crazy:
The tunnels were dug by North Korea and are presumed for use by the military as an invasion route. Each tunnel is large enough to permit the passage of an entire division in one hour. [...] Upon their discovery, the North claimed that they were for coal mining; however, no coal can be found in the tunnels, which are dug through granite, but some of the tunnel walls were at some point painted black to give the appearance of coal.
North Korea treats geopolitics like summer camp. They are the kid from the broken home who loses his pool privileges for talking about killing the mean counselor with a bomb. But that kid could never, or almost never, actually make the bomb. North Korea owns many bombs, they can fly thousands of miles, and they are called Dong Missiles. Actually, their full name is "No-Dong." Couldn't really play into our convenient Western stereotypes any harder than that. Effete Asians: No Wang bombs, king named Kim.

This is what happens when I don't go out.

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