Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Live blog

Wow, I haven't watched the news on TV in so long. It turns out that v-roll of police cars is still something novel. The newscasters have also called into question the intelligence of the candidates "are they smarter than a sixth grader?" The good news: blogs must be how most people get their news because even the talking heads are blogging when they're off camera.

Multi-tasking, I found these naked pictures of Sarah Palin (supposedly) on a French blog:


10:30 Palin: Thank you, Audience: Woooooooooooooooo! I'm adopting this as my new form of "you're welcome" not to be confused with "Woooo," which means "I'm good. How are you?"
10:31 I spy the Liberty Bell. Isn't that cracked? Also, she just said "you're welcome" before anyone said "thank you."
10:33 The new slide shows a... phallus
10:33 S? what's the S stand for?
10:34 He's got GUTS. The voters knew better: they saw him scale that Aggro Crag! He also didn't change his uniform for 22 years.
10:35 She wants her son to be the president. USA USA USA. MOMS! UNITE! September 11. Deploy troops. Oh shit, we're going to hell.
10:36 Phallus, USA, My children: Two boys and 3 strong and kind-hearted daughters. Can we get a fact-checker here? Also, can we really trust a woman who names her kids Track and Trig?
10:39 My husband rides big gas-guzzling machines, and he has quite a package. How about that? Now don't you get in my way or my husband will kick your ass!
10:40 My whole family is here, so don't embarrass me!
10:41 Cut to commercial. The drinking work would be America, but let's change it up and just drink whenever we remember that her accent makes her more lovable and down to earth.
10:44 does the convention stop for commercials? Does it stop for the weather? I was told this was going to be live...
10:46 The right reason to go into politics is to challenge the status quo? Is that a Republican sentiment? And what's this about governing with integrity from the woman who fired public officials because of personal problems?
10:47 Oh... it's about spirit. Note that the good old boys have their heads on a mountain.
10:48 And another break. She was still talking when we went to commercials. I would think this was Fox censoring the candidate, but in this case that wouldn't make much sense.
10:52 Americans, join me in producing more gas! We have lots of it. I live in Wasilla, so clearly I know all about oil. I've been to Wasilla; there's no oil there!
10:54 It's not worth listening to this clown. Let's do some voice-over.

...Follow the Live blog in the comments

23 comments:

Dan Weisman said...

Not a tool of the liberal media. She just said that McCain has used his career to promote change: I think she should cite her sources.

Dan Weisman said...

Take the maverick out of the senate and put him in the White House because it's a much safer place for him.

Ricky said...

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COMMENTS? wHY AM I BEING CENSORED BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA???

Dan Weisman said...

I think I've figured out the live blog thing, but I haven't figured out conventions. Or I have figured out conventions, but all it really is is a self-congratulation festival. She keeps calling out people in the crowd, and everyone yells. This is absurd.

Oh, and the kind of man we need is someone who takes torture like a man and doesn't do anything to change his surroundings.

Dan Weisman said...

Sorry about your comments! I didn't know how to delete posts without deleting comments.

Dan Weisman said...

The biggest speech of her political career had nothing to do with politics. It's completely true that this campaign has nothing to do with actual issues. She talked about oil and the glory of war, but not too much else.

Dan Weisman said...

The Republican Ticket For 2008: McCain, and vice family.

Dan Weisman said...

11:11 NO.

Dan Weisman said...

O'Biden and Bama. Thanks Fox News.

Ricky said...

Anyway, I've been trying to find a good video clip of the church lady from SNL, because that's who she is.

Also, she just blew 'the most important speech of her life'. I found her to be surprisingly uncharismatic. Her speaking style wasn't very presidential or convincing, and the accent was grating/distracting.

Dan Weisman said...

I think that with the accent she's going for something similar to Bush. Poll question is: is it better or worse that she probably isn't faking it?

Ricky said...

Am I crazy or did the delegates sound very unenthused when McMain said "Don't you think we made the right choice?"

Like, did anyone else hear boos? And see Palin make a weird face?

This could all be in my head/ weird sound editing.

Dan Weisman said...

I was too distracted by McCain's conversation with Palin's daughter.

Ricky said...

Eh, I don't think the accent's faked, but the 'folksy authenticity' seemed straight out of the bush playbook.

Ricky said...

In response to the chants of "DRILL BABY DRILL"...

Obama is willing to compromise with the republicans on offshore drilling, he just thinks its not the way to achieve energy independence, and def not currently worth opening up ANWR over

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/08/02/campaign.wrap/

Ricky said...

I don't think McCain's ads on green energy -(you know, the ones with lots of windmills in green fields) - have really been pulling in a ton of environmentalists, but hopefully the selection of Palin has made it clear where the republican party stands on the environment in this election.

Um, no governor asshole, you don't have 'plenty of oil' in your backyard.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4542853/

Dan Weisman said...

You will notice in this map (http://pics2.city-data.com/city/maps/fr5679.png) that Wasilla is nowhere near ANWR or the North Slope. Juneau is even farther away, and pretty inaccessible.

good times governor.

Ricky said...

Maps of Alaska are just guesstimates anyway.

Dan Weisman said...

Thanks for the edits!

Anonymous said...

doesn't alaska belong to russia or some shit? this woman is def femb0t kgb.

Ricky said...

Why was there so much hate for Obama's time as a community organizer? I mean, I get that it sounds hokey, but I thought the republicans were all about community building through churches and stuff. Local determinism and personal responsibility without an overblown bureaucracy...

Leon Leon Leon said...

man i'm so glad i decided to not watch this .... sounds painful. running over pedestrians in gta4 was much more enjoyable.

Ricky said...

Yeah, it was absolutely terrible. Especially when they panned the crowd, and it was just full of sneers and crazy eyes.

I'm calling it for Obama.